I danced with Cinderella

So tonight on my way home from church I heard "I danced with Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman on KLove and a large amount of sadness flooded over me.  I tried to picture in my head Ben dancing with Chatelle on her birthday and picking out her prom dress and dancing with her at her wedding.  I tried to picture in my head what she would look like at each age.  What life would be like with her here.  How different things would be.  
 
It worries me that I don't feel heartache all the time.  I'm happy, life is good, yet out of nowhere a song can tare open my heart and make me remember all the pain.  Flash backs from my Doctors office when I found out she was gone.  Jump to being at the hospital on the table praying over and over again for God to do just one more miracle! Just one more, I know He can do it, I know He can do it.

My heart will never heal, my soul will always cry out for her.  As much as I long for her to be here I know she is exactly where she needs to be.  She played the most important role in my life.  Everything I do, going back to school, playing piano, singing, is all for her and all because of her.  Though my life got turned upside down, I have new meaning.

And wondering what she looks like and what she would be like at 14 months old and as she grows up, is nothing compared to what she will look like when I see her one day.  And that thought makes me overflow with happiness.